Sometimes unfortunate things happen in our lives that cause us to have to downsize or declutter. It could be a job loss or the death of a family member. Whatever the case may be, having to declutter things that mean a lot to us is extremely hard and emotionally exhausting.
Throughout life we gather an awful lot of ‘things’. Our kid’s school pictures and crafts, trinkets and knick knacks from grandma, photos and love letters from past lovers, books, cd’s, you name it, we have it.
But there comes a time when we have to get rid of all this ‘stuff’ and unfortunately, that’s not so easy to do. These are things that have stories, memories, emotions. We clutch on to them for dear life never wanting to part with them.
Until the day comes that we have to.
Letting go of things we love
It’s hard to part with things passed on from our deceased loved ones, whether it be your grandparents, your parents, Aunt Betty or a spouse. Or maybe you are hanging on to memories from your childhood or your last marriage.
Whatever the case may be, letting go of the things we love is so hard to do and is mentally draining. We battle a conversation in our head that goes something like this:
“Throw it out, you don’t need it anymore anyway” to “Please don’t throw this out. What if Uncle John finds out.” Or even this “Oh I just can’t bear to part with this photo/trinket/etc from grandma. She’d roll over in her grave if she knew I got rid of it”.
I want to dispel one myth right now. Grandma won’t roll over in her grave. I promise you that.
No matter what you’re dealing with right now, or the reasons you have to declutter, I’m going to help you to deal with your emotions while decluttering.
How to deal with emotions while decluttering
Let’s face it. Decluttering is a sad time especially if you have to downsize because of a job loss or a death of a loved one. No one wants to have to go through all their things and get rid of them.
We’d rather put it off until tomorrow or the next day or the next day, but procrastinating on doing this dreadful task won’t make it any easier or better. You’re still going to have to do it so instead of constantly putting it off, let’s go over how to deal with your emotions so you are then better equipped to handle the task and get it done!
Prepare yourself mentally
You’ve been putting this off for long enough and it’s time to tackle this task. If you prepare yourself mentally before you get to it, it won’t be as hard to do. Try using positive and uplifting affirmations like:
- “It’s going to be ok, I can do this”
- “I’m going to be fine and I’ll feel better once it’s done”
- “I know this will be hard but I’m strong and I can do the hard things”
When you calm yourself down and control your emotions, you won’t be as distraught while going through the things you need to get rid of.
You don’t have to do this alone
Call a trusted friend or family member to help you with this. Having someone there with you while you do this is beneficial in more ways than one. If it was up to you, you’d keep everything but a friend can remind you gently that you don’t need this item and it’s ok to let it go.
Not only that, having someone there to console you will make your grieving a little easier. You two can talk about the person and the memories that go along with the item that has to go. You can laugh and cry about it together and then lovingly put it in the ‘to go pile’.
All the memories you need are in your heart
There are no pictures or trinkets that can replace the feeling you have in your heart of the person who they remind you of. Yes, every time you see this pic or item you will have warm thoughts of this person but they are already in your heart and always have been.
A ‘thing’ isn’t going to replace them or their memories. It’s ok to let go of it. This doesn’t mean you will forget this person. You never will. They will be a part of you forever.
It’s ok to let go
It really is. We can’t keep everything forever but we can always keep the memories alive in our hearts and thoughts. You may feel anxiety about getting rid of some items but just remember that anxiety comes from fear and attachment.
Once you control your thoughts around decluttering, the process will go so much smoother and you’ll be happy you finally got it done.
You so got this, babe! Do comment and let me know how you get on!
