When was the last time you did something that didn’t work out the way you expected and you instantly thought you were a failure? Or maybe it seems nothing is ever working out for you and you always feel like a failure?
You’re not alone. Too many of us beat ourselves up when things don’t work out. We tell ourselves things like:
- I’m no good
- I’m so stupid
- I should never have done that in the first place
- How come it worked for them but not for me?
- I’m such a loser
- I’m such a failure
Do any of those sound familiar? Those are some of the first things that come to mind when we fail at something, anything actually.
In this article we’re going to squash those negative thoughts once and for all and give you tools to use to stop feeling like a failure.
There are so many things you can feel useless because of, this can be as simple as something not selling on eBay or as complex as losing a job. Whatever the reason you can get past it and feel less of a failure.
What happens when we feel like a failure?
Besides the fact that it’s detrimental to our self confidence, feeling like we have failed will also stop us from moving forward and trying or doing new things. Fear sets in and will stop us dead in our tracks.
We tell ourselves things like “Well it didn’t work last time so I’m not going to try again” or “Well that failed miserably. Obviously I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m not smart enough”.
Both of those statements are harmful and do not serve you. Let’s replace those with the following 10 things instead!
10 things to tell yourself when you feel like a failure
Next time you feel like a failure tell yourself any or all of the following 10 things. With practice, that feeling will eventually be just a memory.
There’s no such thing as failure
Failure is such a powerful and negative word but the truth of the matter is, there really is no such thing as failure. You tried something, it didn’t work. Try something else next time. You didn’t fail at it. It simply didn’t work out the way you expected it to.
I’m doing the best I can.
We can only do our best. Some things just don’t end up the way we want them to or we don’t get the results we anticipated. That doesn’t make you a failure. It shows you have determination! Go, you!!
Look how far I’ve already come!
We forget that we’ve survived 100% of the things that life has thrown at us and we handled them like a boss. You’ve already done so many great things in your life and they all turned out well. And even if they didn’t, you’re still standing strong.
At least I tried.
That’s the best one right there ( I should have listed that as number 1). Yes! You tried. Good for you. Do you know that most people don’t even have the courage to try some of the things you have. That says a lot about you. You tried. Way to go!
I’m proud of myself.
This will be hard to say and it may even seem like a lie but try it. Tell yourself you are proud of yourself for not giving up and giving it your all. You did the best you could with what you had. And you should be proud of yourself.
It makes me stronger
Every time you fail (or didn’t succeed at something) you become stronger for next time. You know what worked and what didn’t work, you learned the lesson, brushed off your butt and got back at it. You get stronger every time.
I’ve been here before and got through it. I’ll be ok
Yes you have and yes you will be ok. You will be more than ok actually because you’ve just learned one more new thing with this last ‘failure’. And every time something doesn’t work, you always come out ok.
I’m not a failure, I’m a fighter!
Switch up that eff word. This is a case of ‘turn that negative thought around into something more positive’. Remind yourself you’re definitely not a failure and you’re no quitter either. Keep on keepin’ on!
I cannot compare myself to _______ <insert name.
You absolutely can’t and shouldn’t. We feel like failures sometimes because Sally did it and it worked so why didn’t it work for me? I must be a failure. There are probably tons of things that succeeded for you but didn’t for the next person. Remember that. Don’t compare yourself to others.
I love myself, I forgive myself and I’m awesome
Give yourself a huge hug and pat on the back for at least trying. Most don’t. Forgive yourself for letting negative thoughts get you down and remind yourself how awesome you are. Follow that up with a big “I love you”!
You’re not a failure
Next time you start feeling like a failure, try saying any one of those 10 things. Switch your mentality and watch your mood change. And don’t forget, there’s no such thing as failure.
