Do you worry that to be happy and successful you have to follow a specific path? Here is a guest post from a fellow blogger about how success comes in all shapes and sizes. Sarah writes about all things happy and hopeful at www.thegoodthingisthough.co.uk
Successful people – who are they?
All of my mates have proper jobs. Like; real, grown-up, important jobs. They’re dentists, psychologists, lawyers, teachers, nurses and police officers.
Me? Well… let’s just say I’ve taken a less conventional path. I started out as an actress/singer/dancer, quickly realised I’d need to diversify (you know, in order to eat) and trained as a personal trainer and Pilates instructor. Despite absolutely loving my flexible working life, dipping in and out of performing but running my classes alongside that; as my 30th birthday approached; an unfamiliar feeling crept in.
Thinking about my career path
I looked at my friends and their seemingly epic, linear trajectories through their careers; and I started to see my own jobbing work-life as a bit lacking. Although I was ‘ahead’ of them in the personal life stakes, by that time married with one child… in terms of career, I felt like a bit of a failure.
I allowed myself to really sit in this feeling and let it take hold. What did people think of me? Did they look at this 30 year old woman and think; “For God’s sake when are you going to grow up and get a proper job!?” Within weeks of my milestone birthday; I had applied for a job in the NHS as a nutrition assistant and was soon working three days a week in a hospital and was enrolled on a course to become a qualified Nutritionist.
There we go! I had a proper job. With a name badge. And a key fob. And a pension. And a monthly salary (which was far less than I was earning freelance by the way).
Do you measure success like this too?
What is a proper job anyway?
I lasted 18 months. Eighteen of the most miserable, stressful months of my life. I soon realised that I was not cut out for the routine and rigidity of a proper job! I hated the bureaucracy, the incessant and repetitious paperwork and the hellish commute.
My lovely ‘successful’ friends noticed a change in me. I was flat, anxious… and skint. Over time I told some of them, with embarrassment, where the career change had come from. That comparing myself to them had led me to find myself sorely lacking.
Opening my eyes to reality
These honest conversations really opened my eyes to the true meaning of success and how we can measure it. Lots of my friends who were now earning huge salaries and had swanky corner offices confessed to me that they had envied me! My life had been relatively stress-free, I had been doing varied and interesting work and most importantly, I had followed my passions. It was revelatory to me that how they had viewed me, had been so different to how I viewed myself.
After the birth of my second child, I left my job and returned to freelancing. I now have a thriving fitness business and have had time to turn my passion for writing into a little sideline business which will hopefully grow over time. Maybe to outsiders, I don’t look as successful as some of my friends, but (and maybe this is something to do with imminently turning 40) I really don’t care! I have learned to find my self-worth from an internal perspective rather than from outside eyes.
Having the confidence to follow your passions, even if it means you don’t follow the normal path? That takes guts! Do your own thing with integrity and your own version of success will surely follow.
